Idiot Blue Jays Fans Beginning To Ruin Great Promotion

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Tomorrow night marks the second of four Toronto Blue Jays games designated as $2 Tuesdays.

These promotional games allow fans to purchase Jays tickets in the upper bowl (500 level) for $2. The regular price is $9. While saving $7 might not seem like the world’s greatest deal, being able to take your family, kids or a few friends to a game for $2 is a no-brainer. It’s a great and cost-efficient way to introduce children or new fans to the game. If they have a rotten time, it’s no big deal, it’s just $2. If they have a great time, maybe the Blue Jays have just earned themselves a lifetime fan.

But now comes word that after this season’s four game promotion (or possibly after tomorrow’s game) the Blue Jays may give up on the $2 promotion.
Why?

Because Blue Jays fans are idiots.
And by Blue Jays fans I don’t mean all. I mean the idiots who decide that going to a ball game is a great time to either

a) get wasted on over-priced beer
b) sneak in their own booze to get wasted on for a cheap price.
c) get wasted however they can and proceed to brawl in the stands like Randy Marsh in South Park (see video as it depicts many a Jays fan. The 1:55 mark is truly 500 level stuff)

Also just to get the record straight. I’m not some old man complaining about the “wild kids”. Granted I’m a 25 year old white kid who acts like he’s 65, but is it so wrong that when I go to baseball games I want to watch baseball?

Anyway, if you’re like me and you enjoy these cheap promotions (lower bowl ticket prices are cheaper as well) but are worried that you may be sitting in a section that will end up having either multiple arrests, profanity, shirtless fights or beer spilled on your or your kids here is how you can spot potential Blue Jays idiots who could ruin the game for you and your family and friends.

1. They are usually white college aged kids often wearing the “new” retro jersey’s or T-Shirts.

2. Blue Jays idiots can often be spotted wearing sun glasses. Even if the roof is closed or if it’s a night game. I believe this is done to hide their blood shot eyes from security guards.

3. Blue Jays idiots are often seen with skanky young girls wearing pink Blue Jays hats or T-Shirts. These girls generally know nothing about baseball, but enjoy wearing something slutty and baseball related to the game. Usually the T-Shirt is rolled up or cut off to show the stomach of a 19 year old girl who lives on 800 calories a day.

4. Male Blue Jays idiots often have colorful underwear that is exposed all game as their pants are 3 sizes too big for them and they are frequently leaving their seat to get more beer.

5. Male Blue Jays idiots refer to everyone as “bro” or “dude”.

6. When Blue Jays idiots from other Blue Jays idiots gangs meet up they group together like Vultron to destroy fans of other teams in the building. Usually this is done either through shirtless brawls or through the tossing of beer.

7. A final way to spot a potential Blue Jays idiot is to yell out “Habs suck”. If they cheer the following

“Leafs Rule!” They are indeed an idiot.

If they cheer “I dislike Montreal strongly because I was unfortunately born a Leaf fan and will always love Toronto and hate Montreal, but acknowledge that your statement is actually false but enjoy your enthusiasm.” That means that they are not an idiot.

So yeah, enjoy the games, but realize there are other people around you as well. I for one am glad they got rid of the beer sales in the 500 level.
What do you think?

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Tags: "$2 Tuesdays", "Paul Godfrey", "Rogers Centre", "Toronto Blue Jays"